Advice

Dear Miss White: Am I Over It?

On by Stephanie White In Advice | comment  

Dear Miss White, 

Great news: The guy I liked during all 4 years of college is into me. The thing is, I’m just not that into him anymore. He’s great, but not the guy I fell for anymore. He had a girlfriend all throughout college, and we hooked up within a month of their breaking up, and a lot since then. I’m dating around, but when we’re out together, he’ll make a move, even if I’m there with another guy! But I just can’t imagine turning down someone who I crushed on for soooo long, even though I otherwise think I’m over it. What’s a girl to do?

-(Not?) Over Prince Charming

WELCOME. Welcome to my world. Really though, you should feel comforted by the fact that, young ladies/women from all walks of life can relate to your situation. Normally I hate when people use the phrase “we’ve all been there” because it sounds like an auto-response to a far more complex issue, but I’m making an exception today. Girl–we have ALL been there.

Read more

Dear Miss White: Bathroom Blues

On by Stephanie White In Advice | comment  

 

Dear Miss White,

My roommate and I share a bathroom, and we both wake up at the same time for work. We alternate who showers first, which has worked for us. But for the past few weeks, on the mornings when I shower first, he’s been taking a shit right before I hop in. I tried getting over it, but it’s pretty obvious so I can’t. And I tried waking up even earlier, but then he seems to beat me to the bathroom, too. I understand a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, but his timing is just not right. I wake up pretty early as it is, so just setting the alarm for another 5 or 10 minutes earlier isn’t really an option. How can I address this (very awkward) situation?

-Bathroom Blues

BB,

I don’t know you but I already feel close to you. I think it’s because I too know the stress that comes along with communal bathroom living. Who doesn’t? Liars, maybe. The truth is, no one warned us about the drama and distress attached to sharing a bathroom with our peers (thanks for the heads up mom and dad!).

It can make even the most level-headed young professionals feel vulnerable, over-exposed. Simply helpless. The good news is these feelings are completely normal, so let’s just go ahead and embrace/accept them right now so that we can ditch them later.

I’ve deducted that you are indeed a dude, correct? Well, being a lady, I can offer you a glimpse into our world for a minute, with the hope that you’ll take away a few of our strategic bathroom tricks.

Now I must say, women get one hell of a horrible wrap for our hygiene habits. An unfair one I might add. I mean, do clumps of our beautiful hair end up clogging our shower drains? Sure. Do we forget to turn off our curling/straightening irons? Sometimes. Do we make you late as shit to events and take none of the blame? It’s not my fault! Point is, looking pretty comes at a price, capish?

Despite our momentary bathroom mishaps, there are a few non-negotiable pieces of bathroom etiquette by which most ladies abide. For instance, we like to keep things fresh. The bathroom is a sacred place, a safe harbor if you will. And I for one have never allowed even the most filthy, inconsiderate of guests (neanderthal-like man-friends of past roommates, I’m looking at you) prevent me from maintaining a flowery-fresh, non-confrontational bathroom environment.

Don’t you think you’d be a lot less annoyed at your roomie if he was doing damage control in real time? So that perhaps by the time you’re ready to hop in the shower, the bathroom has already been neutralized in a way that allows you to easily forget about what just went down . If you set him up for success, I bet you a bowl of potpourri he’ll meet you halfway on this.

So with that, I offer you my list of bathroom survival tips and tricks, helping to prevent awkward moments and HAZMAT environments since my junior year of college. It’s tried and true and now…it’s all yours:

• Crack a window. Try leaving it open at night so that there’s plenty of ventilation going on in prep for the morning, if you catch my drift.
• Burn a candle. If you don’t already have one or two, go out a get a few. Pick something with a nice scent and light that bad boy up!
• Display a flower, or nine. I know this tactic is slightly girly, but surely your manhood won’t be completely demolished by placing a few flowers on the bathroom counter. Not only will this help to cancel out your roommate’s early morning activities, it will impress your lady visitors, I’m tellin’ you!
• Light a match. This option is a) low budget b) discreet c) so simple! Make sure they’re in an easily accessible spot too.

If you commit to this list, I feel like you, your roommate and your bathroom have a bright future ahead. And if this preventative yet slightly passive aggressive list of measures doesn’t work out, I think you may have to bite the bullet and let your roommate in on your dilemma. Being direct with people, ESPECIALLY your roommates, is typically the most well received and respected method of communication. So if my list of boy scout-esque preparedness doesn’t do the trick, I recommend following the latter approach. Though I have this gut feeling that a quick run to CVS and a little bathroom accessorizing will go a LONG way.

Good luck BB, you’ve got this.

Stephanie

You can read more of Stephanie’s wonderful writing at White Out.

Continental Divide

On by Alex Mitchell In Advice | comment  

Dear A Mitch, I’ve fallen for a girl I met this summer.  The feelings are mutual.  We stay in touch often via Skype and G-Chat.  She is everything that I have been looking for (and more) and is truly remarkable. The problem is, we live on different continents, and it doesn’t look like this will change any time soon.  Should I give up on having a relationship with such an amazing person, be patient and hope for the best, or sort of half-ass it somewhere in between?  It’s worth mentioning that meaningless hookups disgust me, and this isn’t infatuation. 

- Clueless in Claremont
Read more

Man Vs. Self

On by Alex Mitchell In Advice, Blog | comment  

Dear A Mitch,
About a year ago, I sent in a letter about my crappy dating situation and my struggles with losing my virginity. The advice was pretty sound: getting out and meeting people, trying a dating site or two, losing weight, and seeing a therapist. I followed it, and now I’m in a different position than I was a year ago. I’m in graduate school, I’m working full-time, I’ve joined a Muay Thai class, I’m dating online, and I lost about forty pounds.

Read more

The In-Laws

On by Alex Mitchell In Advice | 1

Dear A Mitch, My boyfriend’s family has never seemed to approve of me. There’s a couple of reasons for this: we’re political opposites, and I’m an agnostic Oregonian, which, as super-conservative Southern Baptists, they find just shy of “Practicing Voodoo Priestess.” I work as a bartender and do freelance work instead of having a traditional job, I have tattoos, I was raised by hippies. Really, all you need to know is that they nearly disowned my boyfriend when they found out we’d be “living in sin.”

Read more

Not Starving, Just Wanting

On by Alex Mitchell In Advice | comment  

Dear A Mitch, I am in a great relationship and I truly love my boyfriend. He’s a fantastic person to spend time with. Although we are a bit away from graduating, I can foresee us being together after college. The only thing I am somewhat concerned about is the fact that he’s a little sexually conservative. Of course we have sex, but I often get bored with what seems like the same process every time. I need some more sexual creativity in my life. Have ideas or ways to approach this?

-Not Starving, Just Wanting
Read more